Ta-Dah! Week 10

♫Where Your Heart Is♫

#10 - Tolerate More, and Give Thanks Often

This is the last week for the ten Ta-Dah!s Loretta LaRouche wrote about in her book "Relax--You May Only Have a Few Minutes Left".  She ends with saying that optimists live longer and suggests ways to become more optimistic:

     1.  Anticipate that something unexpected could happen     
     2.  Accept some things as they are
     3.  Live your life with meaning
     4.  Live mindfully
     5.  Set realistic goals

She reminds us to reframe things using humor and to take time for manners.  

What I love about the song I included above is that it reminds us to "chill out" about the differences that exist between us--whoever "we" are.  If you stop passing judgments and quit thinking only your opinion matters, you'll be on the road to being more tolerant and in a position to incorporate LaRouche's 5 ways to become more optimistic....because optimism is actually HOPE.  And HOPE is the conduit for LOVE.

TA-DAH! Week 9

♫Free to be You and Me♫

#9 - Try to be Different

"Unconventional people do not take themselves too seriously" and eccentrics are healthier according to Loretta LaRouche.  She encourages us to step outside the box in which we've put ourselves.  She suggests things like wearing a tie or scarf with a bit more flair or underwear that is unique, if we're not ready to make a change everyone else can see.  She has some wackier suggestions, but I'll let you think of your own.

Throughout my life I've been drawn to these sorts of people--people willing to go against the trend.  Tasha Tudor, in the above photo, was one such person.  She celebrated life and found joy in hard work, eschewing modern devices for a lifestyle more akin to the 19th century even though she lived into the 21st century.  Because she was also a recognized children's book illustrator/writer her eccentric lifestyle was an asset.  For those of us without a particular talent we must compromise in order to gain acceptance from our peers.  Unfortunately, this can cause a great deal of unhappiness since we may feel pressured to abandon who we really are.  Hence, LaRouche's comment about unconventional people not taking themselves too seriously explains how those who dare to be different are able to be so.  

Your assignment this week is to throw convention to the wind if it allows you to be and do what you truly feel led to be or do....then deal with any uncomfortable feelings by reminding yourself not to take yourself too seriously.  Just to be clear on what that means, I found this wonderful definition on-line:  "When someone says you "take yourself too seriously" they may mean that you worry too much about yourself and you're maybe a little bit self-conscious/have a bit of an ego. It's hard to put into words...but in a nut shell it means uptight/lacking a sense of humor about yourself (lacking the ability to laugh at yourself/let loose)."  

TA-DAH! Week 8

♫I Love to Laugh♫

#8 - Tap Into the Universe of Humor

My youngest son constantly made faces for the camera when he was little.  So much so that as I was making his "This is Your Life" video for his high school graduation the theme for it became apparent early on since every video of his growing up years showed him making a face.  I often said he was given to us for our old age (I was 38 and my husband 42 when he was born)--the son that would keep us feeling young.  

Loretta suggests we should keep a Groucho Marx glasses and nose/mustache handy to don when we're really feeling stressed.  I can picture my family coming into the kitchen and seeing me standing at the stove wearing such a get-up.  That would surely break any tension in the room, don't you think?  Her other suggestions are:  look in the mirror and ask yourself, "How serious is this?"; do something nice when someone least expects it; write down your favorite profanities and assign them a number, then when someone gets on your nerves just say the number; adopt an attitude of playfulness--keep your mind open to silly, irreverent, iconoclastic thoughts; and lastly, a sense of humor sees the fun in everyday things.

That last one sent me to the Internet to look for sense of humor tests.  Just Google "sense of humor" and see what you find.  You may find you need work on yours.  This might solve all your problems.  ☺  Be sure to let me know if you try one of the above suggestions and what happened.

TA-DAH! Week 7

♫Rivers of Love♫

#7 - Tidy Up Your Life

This week's Ta-Dah! is about forgiveness.  Loretta says, "It's healthy to identify what has caused you pain, to gain insight, and, it is hoped, to move forward."  She adds, "However, if you've been emotionally wounded you may need help to move on...parts of the brain seem to function differently in those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder."

I was looking for one of my photos to illustrate this post and the only heart I could find was the above.  It was only later that I realized the significance of the heart being a stone.  What a perfect illustration of what so many of us do to our hearts by our unforgivingness.  We allow our hearts to harden.  It's the way we deal with the pain at the moment, only to find out that we eventually no longer feel anything.  This is not the solution.

Loretta offers these suggestions for dealing with the effects of someone's negative behavior:  be direct and gently but firmly discuss the situation; change our attitude toward it; or just let it go. 

Here are some ways to let something go:  think of the things that turned out well with that person/situation; imagine what's troubling you as an ogre perched on your back and yell out loud, "Get off my back;" find a surrogate to fulfill a missing part of your life; create a value system for your life so that you'll do things from a positive position rather than a negative one, i.e., rather than trying not to be like your mother/father, instead focus on what you would like to be; write your eulogy and epitaph.

And while you're at it, she says, clear out the clutter in your life.  Often we hang on to "things" or go shopping as a substitute for what's missing in our lives.  The early Quakers strived for simplicity in their lives with their possessions because they believed in being good stewards in all that God gave them.  They did not want to have more than they could properly care for.  Some of the best Clutter consultants will tell you not to bring anything new into your house without getting rid of something first.  But first, we have to tidy up our lives.  Perhaps this week's assignment will be to declutter one room in your house....and while you're doing it examine your heart for any unforgivingness that you need to sweep out the door as well.  Let me know what happens.

TA-DAH! Week 6

♫Imagination♫

#6 - Turn on Your Imagination

Children have no problem using their imaginations.  During their growing up years my three boys were at various times Superman, the Hulk, Star Wars characters, "workermen", spies, race car drivers, pilots, and a host of other characters.  They used their imagination to create little worlds of their own to act out their new identities.  For me, it was playing Mom to all my dolls or I'd imagine being on the Mickey Mouse Club and singing along with the Mouseketeers. 

Loretta writes, "Our subconscious minds can't discern what's real and what isn't, so your imagination can help you fake it till you make it.  Close your eyes and picture yourself jumping for joy, smiling, whole and content." She also says, "Worrying is like viewing a bad movie over and over."

She lists several suggestions of what we can do to turn on our imaginations.  One is to ask yourself where in the world you'd go if you could?  What would you do once you got there?  Because I journal the one that intrigued me most was "Keep a journal and write only fiction in it."  If you decide to do this I suggest you preface it as such in case someone finds it after you're gone!  Let me know how you used your imagination this week.

If you are just now finding my Blog, look in the Archives under October to find my Week 1 posting about Loretta LaRoche's TA-TAH! suggestions.

TA-DAH! Week 5

♫If You Feel Like Singing♫

#5 - Treat Yourself to Pleasure and Passion

I found this rather amazing:  Loretta writes, "In a study of ninety-six volunteers, Arthur Stone, Ph.D., a psychologist from the State University of New York, found that pleasant events such as dinner with friends or a weekend hike in the woods gave a boost to the immune system that lasted for two to three days.  In contrast, a stressful encounter such as an argument with a boss or spouse had a lesser effect, slightly depressing the immune system for just one day."  It seems the absence of ordinary pleasures has a worse effect on us than stress.

When my children were little I was really into playing my guitar.  As you see we'd "jam" sometimes.  Interestingly, the one on the drums went on to play the drums in the middle school band and then switched to the piano in high school and ended up getting a degree in music composition in college.  It is not his career now, but he has a band and so still keeps it a part of his life.  

We all need to find what gives us pleasure and make it a part of our daily lives, if possible.  I took up gardening once my youngest child became more independent at around age 2.  It was something I could nurture and gave me an outlet for my creativity.  Over the years I've found more interests and as I found the time added them to my "play time".  Your assignment this week is to allow yourself at least a few minutes EVERY day doing something you love--even if it's just soaking in the tub for 15 minutes--then let me know what kind of difference it made in your day.

TA-DAH! Week 4

♫Wind Chimes♫

#4 - Take Time to Listen to Yourself

Loretta says meditation helps us to listen to our inner voice and that there are two basic components to getting yourself to relax:  use a mental focus such as watching your breath or repeating a word/sound or phrase; and second, have a passive attitude toward distracting thoughts.  

In the book I mentioned in an earlier post, "The Untethered Soul--The Journey Beyond Yourself", Michael A. Singer encourages us to step back from our thoughts and just observe them.  We're not to judge them.  I had a recent experience that illustrates this.  Last week I did a post about our weekend in Garrett County.  Going back and taking a look at the post I found I had warmer feelings about the weekend than I did at the time I actually experienced it.  Looking at the post with the pictures and details of our activities was like standing back and just observing my thoughts and feelings.  Because I was just an observer now I did not get tangled up in the disappointment I felt at the time about the rain and not being able to do all the outdoor activities I'd planned.  If I'd thought to step back from my thoughts and feelings at the time, I would have been able to enjoy the activities we were able to do together.  My perspective would have changed.

So your assignment this week is to try meditation if you feel you can, but if not, at least be aware of your thoughts and feelings so that you can step back and just observe them for a few moments to see if your perspective changes.  Remember don't judge your thoughts and feelings.  Just observe.  Report back your findings.

TA-DAH! Week 3

♫Reach Out and Touch♫

#3 - Touch Someone Else's Life

This week's Ta-Dah! is about being altruistic.  The physical reward is that it slows your heart rate and disease-fighting chemicals rise.  But then, if we did things for others for that reason, it wouldn't be altruistic!  However, if you are able to use your particular talents to help another, you can't help but reap the rewards along with the person you're helping.

When I moved to Maryland after I married I was a 12-hour drive or more away from my parents and my grandmothers.  Perhaps that is why I found myself drawn to older people and wanted to befriend them.  When I quit work to start my family I started volunteering in my county as a Friendly Visitor.  They assigned me to Mrs. Smith, the lady in the above photo who lived in a nursing home.  She was 82 in this photo, 78 when I started visiting her every week.  Sometimes I'd take her out in my 2-seater sports car (before my boys were born) to shop at McCrory's.  I brought her to my  home at Christmas and on other special occasions.    I took my children to visit her, a particular delight because she'd lost her only child from meningitis at age 8 in the 1920's.  She called me her angel, but she did not realize how much she filled a need in my own life.

Loretta LaRoche points out that it is hard to be depressed when you're helping someone else.  Some suggestions she makes are:  welcome a new neighbor (with flowers or muffins), leave flowers on a co-worker's desk, pay the toll for the person in back of you.  I'd add visit an elderly person in a nursing home and take along your children or your pet (after checking to make sure the pet is welcomed), help out at the community food kitchen, become a Big Sister or Brother, offer to babysit your neighbor's children so they can go out for an evening.....you get the picture.  Just look around to see if there's something someone needs that you can offer, and do it.  Be sure to let me know what you did.

TA-DAH! Week 2

"Words are not only descriptions but prescriptions.  They elicit emotional responses.  They can be a cure or a curse."  -- Loretta LaRoche, "Relax--You May Only Have a Few Minutes Left"

♫Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!♫

#2 - Talk to Yourself in Fun Ways

This week's Ta-Dah! is about the Committee that lives in your head.  It's all those important people in your life when you were a child who told you how you should live your life.  For the most part, it was probably good information to know, but we are individuals and too often the messages were of the one-size-fits-all variety.  Parents and teachers were all too busy (or didn't want to put forth the effort) to see us for who we really were.    And many were vastly under qualified for their jobs!  Hence, some of the messages were just plain wrong.   So how do we deal with this now?  Do we continue to believe them?  

This week's assignment is to just step back and observe all those thoughts and feelings that float through your head.  Don't judge them.  Don't fixate on them.  Just observe.  When a particular thought suddenly seems absurd to you, allow yourself to laugh about it.  Then talk to yourself in a fun way.  Perhaps sing the song that is playing right now.  Be a little silly and see what happens.  Be sure to let me know!

TA-DAH! Week 1

♫When You're Smiling♫

I'm reading a book entitled RELAX--You May Only Have a Few Minutes Left" by Loretta LaRoche.    She is described as an Erma Bombeck with a wellness agenda.  She writes, "A childlike TA-DAH! blesses the moment you're in.  It permits you to enjoy wherever you are and to realize, more often than not, that you choose to be there."  I thought it would be fun to make Tuesdays the day I share one of her TA-DAH suggestions (10 in all) and hopefully we will all make a conscious effort to practice it for the week.  I'd love for you to report back to me how you practiced it and the results.  OK?

#1 - Trade Frowns For Smiles

This is something I already practice, but not nearly enough.  There is a theory called "Facial Feedback" that proposes that if you smile you'll begin to experience the pleasant feelings associated with it.  If I am proof enough, then it should be called a "law" instead of just a theory.  What happens is you breathe through your nose when you smile which lowers the temperature of your blood.  When this cooler blood reaches your brain certain chemicals are released which suppress pain and help you feel better.

Just the other day I was walking into the library when a mother and her two young children were exiting.  The little boy, probably about 4 years old, looked up at me and smiled which immediately elicited a smile from me.  I can't say enough about how great that made me feel!  So next time you notice you need a mood boost, just smile--whether you feel like it or not.  And if you do it in the presence of someone else you may just be surprised how the benefit is multiplied exponentially!