#7 - Tidy Up Your Life
This week's Ta-Dah! is about forgiveness. Loretta says, "It's healthy to identify what has caused you pain, to gain insight, and, it is hoped, to move forward." She adds, "However, if you've been emotionally wounded you may need help to move on...parts of the brain seem to function differently in those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder."
I was looking for one of my photos to illustrate this post and the only heart I could find was the above. It was only later that I realized the significance of the heart being a stone. What a perfect illustration of what so many of us do to our hearts by our unforgivingness. We allow our hearts to harden. It's the way we deal with the pain at the moment, only to find out that we eventually no longer feel anything. This is not the solution.
Loretta offers these suggestions for dealing with the effects of someone's negative behavior: be direct and gently but firmly discuss the situation; change our attitude toward it; or just let it go.
Here are some ways to let something go: think of the things that turned out well with that person/situation; imagine what's troubling you as an ogre perched on your back and yell out loud, "Get off my back;" find a surrogate to fulfill a missing part of your life; create a value system for your life so that you'll do things from a positive position rather than a negative one, i.e., rather than trying not to be like your mother/father, instead focus on what you would like to be; write your eulogy and epitaph.
And while you're at it, she says, clear out the clutter in your life. Often we hang on to "things" or go shopping as a substitute for what's missing in our lives. The early Quakers strived for simplicity in their lives with their possessions because they believed in being good stewards in all that God gave them. They did not want to have more than they could properly care for. Some of the best Clutter consultants will tell you not to bring anything new into your house without getting rid of something first. But first, we have to tidy up our lives. Perhaps this week's assignment will be to declutter one room in your house....and while you're doing it examine your heart for any unforgivingness that you need to sweep out the door as well. Let me know what happens.