Good morning! Welcome to "Morning Musings".

Musings: to meditate, think, contemplate, deliberate, ponder, reflect, ruminate, reverie, daydream, introspection, dream, preoccupation, brood, cogitate.

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Making Connections

Dear Reader,

Did you know that Agatha Christie wrote novels in addition to her well-known mysteries? I didn't until last week!  She used the pseudonym Mary Westmacott in case you want to search your library for them.  The story I am reading at the moment is  "Absent in the Spring" published in 1944. . . .

It is about a woman who spent several days as the only occupant at a two-man-staffed way station in the desert where she'd make her connection for the rest of her trip.  She was on her way back to England from Iraq and waiting for the train which had been delayed by the weather further down the line.  After reading all the books she'd brought and using up all her writing paper she was left to reflect on her life, something she'd never had time for or inclination to do before.

If you've been a long-time follower of Morning Musings you will have noticed my absence.  If you don't count the posts I did about our trip to England, I only did five posts last year, and if you don't count my Gabriel's Tale posts, only nine the year before.  By contrast I did 42 in 2012 (and I only started in May), 34 in 2013, 67 in 2014, 44 in 2015, and 44 in 2016!  I'd started blogging because I wanted to connect with people.  So what happened?!

These past two years I have felt like the woman at the way station waiting for her train to come in.  I've had two long years with my thoughts.  During this time I shutdown my Facebook page because I felt it gave the people I knew personally an out from contacting me directly for what's going on in my life.  I know how easy it is on Facebook to check up on a friend or family member, see they are doing just fine, click "like or love" and feel I've connected with them.  But the truth is, while I may feel I've connected with them, there really wasn't a real connection.  Then I took the summer away from Twitter after being blocked by someone I'd thought to be a friend.  I felt we'd actually connected in person at the Susan Branch picnic. . . .

. . . so I felt at liberty to try to help her with a problem she'd posted on Twitter.  I thought that privately messaging her was the appropriate way to share this information, but she apparently was offended.  She blocked me without explanation and because of the block my message was deleted even from my Twitter account so I could not go back and read what I'd written to see how it might have come across to her in such a negative way.  Experiences like this have taught me that I too often try to help people who really don't want to be helped.  This is not the first time I've received such a negative response, so why do I keep doing it?

During this time of reflection I was reminded how it took me years of gardening to start doing it just for myself. . . .

For the first many years I'd plant and weed and water and tidy up my garden for the people who would visit me.  Rarely, it seemed, that anyone would notice--at least they never told me they noticed.  The next time I was out in the heat or the bugs swarming my face I'd grumble to myself about all the work involved keeping a garden.  Then one day--almost like a miracle--I realized it was OK to take care of my garden just for myself.  I realized I loved my garden whether anybody else did or not!  It began to give me great joy to tend it.  I didn't need anyone else to notice--or approve.

I have gone through a similar situation with my children's stories, especially Gabriel's Tale. . . .

I think the story is the bees knees and can't understand why it isn't being recognized as such--but then, of course, I'd hope I'd feel that way about it since I wrote it!  I have to constantly remind myself just because I love it and others don't doesn't mean it doesn't have merit.  If anything, just writing it brought me great joy.  For me it was an analogy of who I am. 

After writing the original Poetry & Gabriel the Snowman stories in the late 90s I realized that I was both Poetry--the adventuress--and Gabriel the Snowman who was stuck in the backyard, snowbound. . . .

Gabriel's Tale, written in 2009, was my release!  I was no longer bound by my inability to move due to fear of whatever.  I now had legs and could search for my other half--Poetry the adventuress.  But I have to admit those legs have been a bit wobbly.  Just like Gabriel's crossing of the sea in the storm, finding my sea legs has been long in coming.  Life is like a voyage across a storm-tossed sea where you often cannot see land....

How does all this connect you may be wondering.  Well, for one thing I realized my need to help people (or so I thought I was helping) was a way to validate my caring for them.  I didn't want to offer empty words of sympathy for their plight.  It's sorta like the "thoughts and prayers" politicians offered after the school shooting in Florida that people railed against.  We are ready for action!  So, I'm not going to let my pricked pride keep me from trying to help people when I feel I have something to offer.  I had offered it to my Twitter friend with the fact that I found the information helpful with my own similar issue, so I hope she did not think I was looking down my nose at her.  Perhaps, I tell myself, I'd hit a sensitive spot that she was not ready to admit.  I can only hope that in some small way I've moved her closer to a solution and not caused her to dig in her heels in resistance.  All I know is if I do not remain open to helping people I will not rise to the occasion when I might be the only one available to help.

So, like gardening, like trying to help people, I've decided to resume blogging just because I enjoy it.  It is a creative outlet for me.  People can take or leave it--so please don't get offended!  It will never be my intention to offend you!  You don't even have to leave a comment.  For those, however, who would like to encourage me to offer more morning musings, I've added a way for you to let me know the post was at least interesting. Boring you would be worse than offending you in my book!  Just click the Reaction Button below my name at the end of the post.

With warm regards,


  1. Oh Cathy, our heart felt help is often misjudged as an intrusion. I have a situation with a neighbor going through some very rough times that often wants to talk and then she'll be stand offish as if I've intruded. It's not our intention, but it can be misconstrued.
    It's interesting you mentioned Agatha Christie in this post. We visited her holiday home, Greenway, in Devon. What an interesting look at her life! I'll have to look for this series of hers.
    By the way, I always enjoy what you write! ♥

    1. Bless you, Martha Ellen, for your kind thoughts and putting them into such pleasant words! Have you done a blog post about Greenway? I have a book called "Agatha Christie at Home" that you might be able to find in your library. Agatha loved houses and the book talks about the places she lived. I recently read "The Murder at the Vicarage" and then watched the TV production of it. It was set in a lovely English village and worth watching just for the scenery. In another life I could have been a Miss Marple--a busybody just trying to help!

  2. HI Cathy, I remember how I found you on the posts about St Francis ...and really loved your writing, and posts about him, a definite individual I hold close to my heart. I love how you have here this reality check for yourself, and how you, like many of us, realize that we need to learn to love ourselves in our endeavors, and not go out with wrong motives and intentions as that does not work ,but I find for me if I can ask myself as well , what is my motive in offering help or a suggestion.. well that helps. But right now, I as well am going through a total transfiguration . I too have always wanted to help everyone.. all the time. I felt I could fix it for them with my love for them, and offer suggestions. Well, you hit the nail on the head. It someone does not wish our help, well, then we are intruding I guess in their viewpoint, which , though not our intention, comes over that way. So I feel balance is the key to all of it, and our passions are for us. not for anyone else. I feel I follow my passion and my calling from God .with my talent and just do happy, for Merri and yes, weed the garden for me ,not anyone out there..well someone surely will come along and love seeing my garden, and I will not have chased them down drawing their attention to it. It is a big one for me to do this..... huge in fact as I was raised in an striving time.. in an obsessive compulsive life... where post warm everything my family did was good, but was in excess was over the top, and though it produced two successful business I was in with my parents... it was all wrong for me. I am finding that out now.. that really I am ok.... and things come to me from God that I need to do. if I listen. Then I am on track more with my true motive of good in me and the neediness in me to have a friend or to belong is dissolving....and in the new loving of me... and God leading, why I am finding my Tribe and enjoying my God given talents...backing off from family as they surely are doing fine ..and what is happening is they are coming to ME now. It is funny, and people are too so I am not forcing things as much as I felt I had to all my life. What a relief .. as there is no burden now.. not anything forced. The obsessive compulsive loops in my life, which are patterns, are still there but less and I can catch myself now more.... and breathe! Thank you for all your beautiful posts and art and the manner in which you have helped me to see myself as a good individual without trying. You are an amazing individual angel of God I think, at least for me..and I feel you have guided me to this point as well.... and I feel so free . It is not important if someone likes me anymore. It is important for me, to know myself and respect my passions and rejoice in them simply and easily. There was a quote I saw last night on here somewhere it said.," If you have not experienced pain, how can you ever feel the joy" I am loving joy more and more... thank you for everything.. Blessings, Merri

    1. Dearest Merri, I feel so blessed that you are letting go of so much that had its grip on you and that you are feeling the burden lifted and finding joy in giving! If I have played even a small part in that I am encouraged to continue being who I am--with some tweaks here and there as needed :-) Very often I have seen myself in some lesson you were learning and shared with me, so I have benefited in our connection as well. ❤️

  3. Oh Cathy, I'm so glad you're going to continue blogging. Although in all honesty I do have a little trouble keeping up on your various "titles." You have Morning Musings, Take Joy, I Come in the Little Things" - are there any more? Sometimes I can't remember which ones I still need to read & comment on, and which I've already checked etc. Have you ever considered combining them under one "umbrella" blog but just posting whatever you wanted on any given day to the same site? Oh and I think you're 1000% right about Facebook. I never joined myself, because as it was explained to me, Facebook was a way to share photos, news etc with friends online, and all I could keep thinking was "Why do I need Facebook to do that?" If I want to send photos to family or friends, or make announcements or whatever, I can just e-mail them. Or call them to talk. I've always thought of Facebook as a big middle man no one really needs. And the less middle men the world has the better, IMO. Of course after all the controversies involving Facebook over the past 2 years, I wouldn't join it now if you paid me. Or better yet, CALL them. I think you're right - people use Facebook as a way to catch up without any MAKING CONTACT. Which I think is quite weird, to be honest. I feel the same way about texting. In many cases texting is fine - you get communications through without the need to actually speak to someone. But I don't like it when my family members text me to "chat" - I'd rather actually speak to them & it somehow feels like they're taking the "chicken" way when they text. Why NOT call? I don't get it. Of course I've never been a huge phone person at all. Only with girlfriends in high school, as we all were - LOL. Well anyways, I'm glad you decided to continue blogging. I know I would really miss hearing about your travels and activities - and seeing your gardens and home etc. You're such a sweet person with such a good heart - keep on being yourself & know that you don't have to try & make EVERYONE happy [an impossible task anyway]. Just keep yourself & the people YOU love happy & you'll be doing better than fine!! Have a great week! 🎈

    1. I think you've been with me from the beginning Janet! And thank you for your encouraging words! I actually started with Freedom in Christ and posted there for a year in 2011. Then I started Another Perfect Day at the beginning of 2012. Both are my spiritual/Christ-centered blogs, along with Another Perfect Day365 which is a daily blog I posted to for a few years. I rarely got a comment on those blogs and because I was longing for someone to chat with I started Morning Musings. This is why I have different blogs. I have different readers and if I put everything in one place I might lose the people who are not interested in one or the other. Plus, I am more creative when I have a "theme" to work with. Hence, I Come in the Little Things and Take Joy. You can find all my blogs listed in the side bar--which you can only see if you are on a computer--or go to the web page if you are on a device (there is a link at the bottom of the page on devices that says Web Version). The listing in the sidebar also shows you how long ago I posted there. The best way, though, is to sign up in the Follow by Email slot--again, this only shows when you are on a computer/web version.

      Because so many in my family no longer have house phones and because I don't want to call when they might be out and about, I'll usually text "Is now a good time for me to call?" Or if I just want to confirm something I'll text. But I agree---to "chat" with texting is not only hard because it takes longer, but sometimes the other person is texting their next comment while you are answering the first one and you begin to lose track of what has been answered or it gets overlooked all together! No--texting should be kept for short, informational purposes. If I were you, when someone wants to chat using text, they obviously are free at that moment so just go ahead and call them!

  4. It is hard for some people to face & act on sensitive problems in their personal life. I agree with you Cathy, your Twitter friend most likely wasn't ready to face head on what issues she had. I know it must be hard to encounter being rejected, but I truly believe you "opened her eyes" & who knows, it may have made her do something about it. I love all of your insights, advice & that you share your walk with many including me. I love you!

    1. I'm glad to know you don't mind my advice, Sandy! I've learned, though, that just because I feel connected to someone doesn't mean they feel the same way. I will have to learn to wait until I'm asked to give any personal advice! Love you, too, Sis ❤️


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