November is synonymous with Thanksgiving. It's when we turn our thoughts to getting together with family. When I was a young child we'd always go to my Mamaw and Papaw's farm for Thanksgiving. I remember going down the gravel road a few miles to pick out our live turkey from another farm. Then we moved north when I was 11 and we'd sometimes go to my grandmother and grandfather's house but more than likely my mother hosted Thanksgiving. Now that I think about it, I wonder why we didn't go to my mother's mother's on Thanksgiving like we did my father's mother. I can't ask my mother because she's been gone now 20 years just after Thanksgiving that year, but this year her death date falls on Thanksgiving. This is what I've been thinking about while looking at the view outside my kitchen window this month. . . . .
Once our children were in school we were not able to travel to be with family on Thanksgiving. They all lived too far away, so I started hosting Thanksgiving and often extended family would come here. It's been 30 years now except for one year that I've hosted. That one year away made me realize it wouldn't feel like Thanksgiving unless I had it in my own home, so now I'm OK with always hosting it.
I usually ask people at my table what they are thankful for, but this year I'm expanding the whole idea of what it means to be blessed. Alan Cohen, in The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore says, "Appreciation and blessing are one and the same....Everything is already completely blessed...What we can do, however is to see, or appreciate the God-inflused blessedness in the person or object." Each November Cohen says he makes a list of everything in his life he's grateful for. There are three categories: 1) the loving and caring things people have done for him; 2) the hardships and challenges that have made him strong as he's had to overcome them because they've brought him closer to God; 3) his abilities or skills that God gave him to be creative and expressive through which he can make some kind of contribution to the world. He says this lists makes him realize the abundance in his life.
So, my question for you this month is 1) what loving and caring thing has someone done for you? 2) what hardship or challenge has made you stronger this year because it brought you closer to God? 3) what ability or skill has God given you that has enabled you to make a contribution to the world? Please choose at least one of your answers to share with the rest of us. More if you want to! Don't be modest about #3! It's not bragging if you've been asked. ☺
I want to share the rest of what Cohen had to say in his essay. You could say this is my contribution to the world--this Blog so I can pass along his wisdom......
"The people who are successful are those who are grateful for everything they have...The more we appreciate, the more we will find to appreciate. 'To him that hath, more shall be given.' (Luke 8:18) .....All we can do in condemning anything is to uphold and increase our own sense of separation and loneliness, which is the sole root of our desire to curse anything...We can control the amount of happiness in our lives, simply by training our minds to focus on that which is good, beautiful, and true.....we must appreciate ourselves....God made each of us with the intention to bless the world through us....Your growth is but an adjustment of consciousness, a change in your perception of the Source of your life. The first petal of spiritual awakening is wonder...You relieve yourself of fabricated expectations when you see that God has an expectation for you which far outshines your small idea of what you can do with Love......your ministry....is your power to heal and to bless through supportive words and acts....As your sense of appreciation expands, great wonders are made known to you...Be childlike in your enjoyment of what is given to you...."
And finally. . . .
Be childlike in your enjoyment of what is given to you!
.•*¨`*•. ☆ .•*¨`*•
Take Joy!
Dear Cathy,
ReplyDeleteSo much pondering with your post today. I too have been thinking about Thanksgiving day 5 years ago, holding my dear sister as she passed on to the arms of God. This process alone has probably been one of the most challenging of my life. That includes losing my dear parents. I prayed for my sister's healing of the cancer that plagued her. It did not come--I think I've been mad at God since. I know--such a sad thing to say. It has taken me 5 years to come to some peace about it.
My biggest challenge this year has been our grandson coming to live with us. We have a great relationship with him. He is our oldest grandson. We want the best for him and we are happy to say he is doing well in school. Our daily homelife is different so we are finding new normal for us. God has certainly given us the strengh to meet this new challenge and make a contribution to his future. ♥
Thank you, dear Martha Ellen, for being the first to share your heart! Losing someone you love--to have them go out of your life when it feels much too soon--is a force in itself to reckon with. The only way to reconcile it is to change our perspective which is very hard to do from an earthly viewpoint. That is what I love about Alan Cohen's teachings. He always brings me to God's perspective if I've lost it, and my anxiety is eased. That it's taken you 5 years to come to some peace about your sister's passing may seem forever, but it's a testament to the bond you felt with your sister. The fact that you've achieved some peace, proves what Cohen talks about in his second question when he asks has this brought you closer to God? True peace can only come from God. As you're finding out with your grandson, you're finding strength you didn't know you had. ☺ It is wonderful that he is doing so well in school!
DeleteVery thoughtful questions, Cathy; I'll be interested to read more inspiring answers.
ReplyDeleteIn hope of stirring that inspiration, I'll do #3. I like to cook and to sew so making casseroles once a month for a soup kitchen and baby quilts for a crisis pregnancy center are very small things but fulfilling activities for me.
You should post photos of your baby quilts. I'd love to see them. And it's wonderful that you cook for the soup kitchen. Both are great ways to share your talents and abilities with people who really need it. Thank you for sharing, Elaine.
DeleteI'm lucky to have people doing loving things for me. I've always been lucky that way. Currently, I'm having trouble with my right knee that makes walking distances difficult so my nephew Ryan, who lives just a mile away, has been coming over to take my trash, recyclables etc over to the recycling area at my apartment community. It's a little thing to him, but it's SO helpful to me. And he's always glad to help out with other odd things around the house at times too. Last week he took down a wall clock that I can't reach without a stepstool [he can] to adjust the time. His sister, my niece Julia, sometimes helps with shopping too. Ever since she was tiny, she's been crazy about the grocery store. We have a really great supermarket chain here in our area, Wegmans. And she's always just loved going there. Even she thinks it's weird but she loves it. When she was growing up, I'd plan my weekly shopping for a time when Julia could go along [usually Saturday afternoons]. From babyhood she always went with her parents on Sunday mornings after church and breakfast and it was incredible how she knew where things were, even as a 3 or 4-year old. I'd read something off my list and she could find it. The "big trip" just before Christmas was always the most fun. We'd go out to lunch first and sometimes see Santa that day, and then we'd go shopping. Getting all the supplies for our cookie-baking was most important. Of course, once she started high school it became harder to find a time that suited both so now we tend to get together for Starbucks rather than shopping. But Julia is 22 now and we still do the Christmas trip every year. So I am SO grateful to both of them for "being there." An older lady friend of my mother's always used to say that "one should never live beyond 70 without grandchildren..." which I always thought was strange when I was younger. But now it's beginning to dawn on me what she meant. I've never minded living alone. Growing up with five siblings, I've even relished it a lot of the time. But I am learning that it's not the same when you get older. Still good, but more challenging for sure. PS - I'm going to think about the other 2 categories of your question as well, Cath... Have a great week, and stay warm!
ReplyDeleteJanet, it's wonderful that you have family nearby to help you. When we're physically unable to do for ourselves it's amazing how important the little things become and how much we appreciate the help we receive. I love that your niece and you still go shopping together all these years. I don't think you'll have to worry about not having grandchildren. You have such wonderful nieces and nephews! Thank you for sharing.
DeleteAn inspiring post. As I think of my recent surgery the loving care of friends and family shouts out to me as an example of God's love and provision for me, and for this I am extremely grateful. This will be my first Thanksgiving that I haven't cooked in probably 25 or more years.
ReplyDeleteI hope it will still feel like Thanksgiving for you! Having friends and family be there for you when you need them is what friends and family are all about! I'm sure they feel they are just paying back some of your generosity toward them when they've needed help. Thank you for sharing!
DeleteDear Cathy,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. I think we often feel the absence more deeply at holiday time. My Dad went to be with the Lord this past June so this year is our first Thanksgiving without him. I have been thinking a lot about him lately as we anticipate this day-I understand completely your musings. But we are both blessed to have good memories, aren't we:-)
Blessings,
Suzanne
Dear Suzanne, I'm sorry for your loss as well. The first year is the hardest because of the special occasions and if they lived nearby, their absence is felt even more keenly. For me it's been 20 years for my mother and 36 for my father that they've been gone, but I do still missed sharing my kids' growing up years with them and now their great-grandchild, and all the questions I should have asked about their lives and our family. So this Thanksgiving I think we should all take time to tell those we love just how much they mean to us so at least we don't have that regret.
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