That ☝ is what I've been thinking about as I gaze out my kitchen window on this first day of March....
The quote above was used in an article to illustrate what it means to discover where you belong and who you belong with. The writer admonished, "The best way to do that is to be aggressive as you search far and wide for clues, even in seemingly unlikely places that maybe you would never guess contain scraps of home."
This is what has been on my mind lately.....this matter of belonging somewhere. From time to time I complain to Ken that I feel adrift. I know it centers around the fact that for the first 28 years of my life focus was on becoming a mother. I plotted out my life from the time I was a child around that hopeful eventuality. Then I spent the next 32 years being a mother, the end marked by the day my youngest moved out on his own after college. These past 3 years I've "searched far and wide for clues" for something to fill the empty space. I have plenty of interests to keep me busy, but nothing that has been as fulfilling and purposeful as being a mother to my three sons. I realize now what I've been searching for is "home" as defined above--the "place" where I belong. For me, it's more about defining who am I now, this "place" that I'm searching for. I'm still a wife, a mother, and will soon be a grandmother, but each of my roles have changed in ways that seem foreign to me. I don't quite know how to fill them.
So my question this month is: Do you say "home" is where you came from....that your earlier years have defined who you are and you're comfortable with who that person (you) is now? Or, are you of the mind that you're still searching for "home"...for what you are yet to become? If so, have you found "scraps" of it. Where? Has it been intentional, or did you just stumble upon these pieces of "home"? Do you think how you feel about who you are would change if your circumstances changed?
I could never understand why some people, when they retire, leave everything they've known and start over in Florida or some such place. I think I understand now.....if I were to do such a thing I know it would be so I wouldn't have to answer those questions I've posed. Starting over has great appeal to me.
So, I'd like to start a conversation about what you've done or plan to do as soon as you're able. Do you see yourself being able to stay put and look for the pieces in order to feel "at home"? Or would you rather start from scratch in a "new and different" life?
Here is the view out my other window as you contemplate my question....