Let's talk hair! I just got my hair cut shorter last week because I can't stand it on my neck in this hot, humid weather. What compelled me to do it was I'd just seen a photo of myself, taken from the side, with my hair up in a bun (because of the heat) and decided I wasn't ready to look like a granny.....even though I was holding my newest grandchild. The photo also drove home the fact that I'll never look like I did in 1974 when I wore my hair the longest it's ever been, no matter how long I let my hair grow now. . . .
Or perhaps, it's because when I was a young child growing up in Mississippi my mother would usually cut my long hair very short--just below my ears. Maybe she didn't want to bother washing it and putting it up in a pony tail. But that's OK. I don't remember caring about my hair until I was 12. It was so ingrained in me to have my hair cut for the summer I even cut my doll's hair for the summer, fully expecting it to grow back like mine. Maybe that's why I got my hair cut this summer--I'm reliving my childhood n my attempt to recapture it.
This 1982 photo shows my hair the shortest its been since I left home. . . .
Over the years I've let it grow out pretty long, cut it shorter, let it grow out, cut it shorter--you get the picture. My mind's eye--my true self--sees me with long hair, but reality gets the scissors out. When I wore it longer I'd always trim it myself--another reason to wear it long.
It's not as short as the above photo now because of that side shot I referred to above. I told the hairdresser to have it curve down around my chin(s). I wanted a functional hair cut--one that was short enough in back not to rest on my neck but long enough in front to hide my aging. If you think you're going to get to see it, you can give up that thought. I'm not thrilled with how it turned out. The humidity has made it very frizzy--not the look I was going for.
I don't think anyone should let anyone else tell them women of a certain age should never wear their long hair down. I have seen women older than my 65 years wear very long hair beautifully, so I know it can be done. Just not by me.
So my question to you this month is: Do you have more or less hair, length-wise, than when you were in your 20s? If you had long hair, when did you go shorter and why? Have you ever wanted to go even shorter but not dared because, like me, you worry you'll have to hide in your house till it grows out.
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Take Joy!
My hair is quite short. It was even shorter in high school and early college and back then I cut it myself. I let it grow out for my wedding right after college graduation and wore it long for many years, again either cutting it myself or having a friend do it. Somehow I got it in my head that you should not have long hair after age 35 so I got it cut off then and still have the long braid (the grands enjoy looking at it). All this story is to say that that haircut (and perm) at age 35 was the first time I was in a beauty parlor (I guess you call them stylists now). I sometimes wish I could go with a longer style, but my hair is so very straight and so thick, I would have to curl it or mess with it every day. So for now, it's short and easy. And yes I was waiting to see the current day picture! But I feel your disappointment.
ReplyDeleteI remember you writing about your braid and envying your thick hair. My hair has always been fine, so a braid is about the thickness of a fat pencil on me. I had heard 30 was the "cut off" age for long hair!
DeleteCathy, I had short hair when I was younger. In my 40's for some weird reason, I decided I needed to have my hair permed. A friend of mine had her hair like that and I thought hers was beautiful. How dumb, trying to be like someone else! When I look at those pictures I'm surprised that I thought it looked good. I had another hairdresser tell me that she would encourage me to let that grow out and create a bob haircut that I have had since then. My oldest grand and I were looking at photos of this time and he laughed out loud! He's a very kind person, but that pretty sums up how I looked. One thing about a haircut is your hair will grow and you can have it more to your liking. I don't subscribe to the short hair for the older woman theory. ♥
ReplyDeleteI got a permanent in my 30's because of seeing someone else with one, too. It damaged a section of my hair permanently. That section always grows out wiry and breaks off easily.
DeleteI change my intermittently at the moment it is short as I grew all the colour out of it and decided to go 'au naturel' letting the natural grey show.
ReplyDeleteAbout 8 years ago I started letting my hair grow long because I thought when it turned gray it would look better up in a bun. I'm still waiting for it to turn gray. I only have streaks of gray here and there. Plus, as my face has aged I discovered it looks better with hair down around it rather than swept up. Who knows how I'll wear my hair in 5 years! It will depend on my face and my mood!
DeleteLet's see. I guess I'd have to say my hair has been getting shorter ever since I finished college. My "childhood hair" was long, blonde, slightly wavy - but I rarely remember it being worn long then. My mom couldn't stand to see kids with their hair flopping in their faces all the time so every morning she'd fix braids or a ponytail or sometimes those coronet braids that get wound around the top of the head. Then when I was in the 3rd grade it was cut chin-length [Mom still had 4 pre-schoolers at home then and I'm sure there was just no time for AM hairdressing]. I think that's when I started washing my hair myself then too. Like you, I really don't remember being interested in clothes or hair or anything until junior high. I did start growing my hair again around 12, and like nearly every girl in the 70s, I had long hair, almost to the middle of my back, and parted in the middle, throughout high school and halfway through college. Always wore it the same way - just hanging down. The next big hair "fad" that came along was the Dorothy Hamill pixie-ish cut, which I thought was so cute. But cute on Dorothy - not so much for me. Didn't suit my face shape, or something. When Princess Diana appeared on the scene in the early 80s, I got lucky. Her style worked worked much better for me. I kept that for quite a while, but never longer than chin-length. I don't think I could grow out my hair again, unless there were some serious $$ involved. I think it would make me nuts. Creeping down my neck etc. For 30+ years I've kept my hair quite short and maintenance-free; there's no interest or incentive for fussing around with it. One less thing to deal with throughout the day. It dries in less than a ½ hour if I squeeze the water out in a towel first, and I rarely have to brush it during the day. Just wash it and forget about it. I do think there are a few women who can wear long hair successfully past a certain age, but these are VERY few and far between. At least in my opinion. Basically I think Coco Chanel was right. Do you know that famous line of hers? That women over the age of 30 [40?] should never wear their hair past the tops of their shoulders? And ideally no longer than chin-length? Since first hearing that, I've been surreptitiously studying "mature" women I see with long hair, especially that 1970s, parted-in-the-middle-hanging-straight-down-look, and trying to imagine them with shorter hair. In my mind's eye, they ALWAYS look better. Of course people should wear their hair how they wish, and shouldn't be cowed into something they don't want to do. But I still remember two things my hairdresser said after I got my college mop cut for the Dorothy Hamill look [you wouldn't believe how much hair was on the floor]. The first was "you look at least 5 years younger..." which was funny because I was only 20 at the time. And the second was that my eyes looked twice as big without all that hair around my face, neck and shoulders. So I think that in general, Coco might have a valid point. There does seem to be a LOT of 50/60-year old women with longer hair these days though. Some people, I'm guessing, are very hesitant to cut their hair, try something new and maybe a little brave. They cling to what they know, I guess. I can understand that, but hey, it's hair. It grows back!!!
ReplyDeleteMany of my friends cut their long hair when they started having children. It's the maintenance part that often determines how we wear our hair----or the men in our life! I wonder how women would wear their hair if it was totally up to them (and not influenced by how others where their hair) and they had the time to take care of it?
DeleteI had short hair as a child. Then as a teen & all through the years including my 40's & 50's I had long hair. At least to my shoulders. It was a lot of work as I had to blow dry it & then flat iron it as I have coarse hair. After surviving cancer & the loss of my hair, I now love my short "pixie" cut. It is so easy to care for & living in Florida with such high humidity I am much cooler. I agree with you Cathy, that it is too hot to have my hair on my neck.
DeleteSandy, I love your new pixie hair style. I'm sure it will be a shock, though, to see you next week for the first time since you cut your hair. I hope I can pick you out of the crowd at the baggage carousel! 😳😀 I remember when you visited me in your teens your hair was short, but since then I've only seen it long whenever we've gotten together.
DeleteThat's another good point, Cathy. I bet there actually ARE a fair number of women out there who "do" their hair the way their husbands etc like it, and maybe not as they personally would prefer to keep it. In my family only my niece has hair past her shoulders right now, and she's just 23. I do think that - in general - the older we get, the less time most women want to spend on fooling around with their hair. Short hair is so much easier and faster. There's just too much else we want to do. Or maybe the teens and 20s are sort of a "grooming" stage of Life and we're just well past it now.
DeleteI think men have always preferred long hair. The day my husband didn't notice that I'd cut several inches off my hair is when I decided I'd where my hair the way I wanted!
DeleteI was waiting for the great reveal!! �� my hair has been short forever. I am always shocked when I see a picture of myself and I have even shoulder length hair. I never remember it that way. But there is a picture of me at 12 and another after my son was born with long hair. Other than that I like it short. I am a wash and wear kind of person and I don't have time to mess with hair! I wish I could wear my hair REALLY short! But I don't have enough body or natural wave to pull that off! Somewhere I saw a picture of an actress, I think it was Judi Dench with very short gray hair and I loved it and would cut my hair like that in a heart beat. Alas I would look like a prison camp refugee if I tried it! I don't think there are rules any more for how a woman should wear her hair at any certain age. Wear what you love and live with what you are comfortable with!!
ReplyDeleteChris
Chris, I love the pixie look, too, on Judi Dench. Audrey Hepburn was another who looked great in it. My head is too large for such a cut in my opinion. I like long hair (shoulder length) in the winter because it keeps my ears warm. I think climate also helps determine how we wear our hair!
DeleteI have the same length hair and hair style as I did when I was a child. My brother is always teasing me about it! I longed to have long hair when I was a child but ny hair gets so thick and unruly that it wasn't to be! I wish I didn't have so many grey hairs! Sarah x
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many of us are truly happy with the hair we were born with! It would have been simpler, like in the old days, when everyone had long hair they wore up out in public. Then we'd all look the same and not be influenced by someone else's hair!
DeleteI cut my hair into a sort of pixie when I was 17. I kept this fine hair short until I was planning my wedding and thought long hair would be a good idea.
ReplyDeleteEventually I went through a bunch of perms. Then the calendar said I was 45. Ahh, that can be a dangerous time! A fresh haircut was more affordable than a sports car. The new stylist told me I should wear a bob. I had no idea, but my very grey hair had suffered much, so I went with it. The length went up and down for a number of years, depending. I liked it collar length, but in time, I sadly realized that the longer length accented those strange wrinkles I saw in the mirror.
I guess it has been about 10 years now, since I visited my daughter in another state and went to her hairdresser for a cut and a new do for my white hair. Short.
She told me I had a lot of cowlicks! Courtesy of hormone changes, apparently. Anyway, For quite a few years now, I've worn it short and kind of spiky. It suits me.
When I go to the salon to get my hair cut instead of doing it myself, it usually means I'm ready for a drastic change--like your sports car analogy. I've noticed the same thing about wrinkles--long hair seems to accentuate them!
DeleteI am slow to comment on this blog post, Cathy. I haven't been spending as much time online lately and have gotten way behind in my blog reading and writing. I have had long or longish hair most of my life, interspersed with a few years of short hair. I go through phases of letting it get long enough to put in a French braid, but when it's that long I can't do anything else with it. It's too long at that point to leave straight (I have very thick and rather unruly hair). So after about a year of wearing it that way I get sick of it and get it cut to shoulder length so I can wear it down instead of having to braid it all the time. Usually I just let it start growing again after that cut, but this time around I seem to be settling into keeping it shoulder length. My only criteria when I get it cut is that I am able to pull it all back into a pony tail. I was looking forward to seeing your new hair style! Are you sure you don't want to post a picture? :-)
ReplyDelete😱 Post a picture?! Maybe of my hair by itself. 😊 You are one of those people that still look good with long hair pulled back, so your pony tail looks perfectly good on you despite being a woman of a certain age! But I can see where having thick hair would require more time to dry and manage.
DeleteLovely topic Cathy. I often say my long hair is the last of my youth, it is very long and thick, to the waist now. I am amazed that I still have any color in it, as it is still more blond than grey. I defy the unspoken rule, to cut our hair when we are middle-aged. Had short hair once in my life and thought it much more work to keep it nice looking than simply making a braid. It's usually in a braid or two, wrapped around my head or in a fat bun. Easier to take care of than having to style it. Just wash it and leave it alone!~
ReplyDeleteJeri, you are one of those women I was talking about who can wear their hair long after a certain age! I didn't realize it was as long as down to your waist. I don't think mine could have grown that long even if I let it. I think it broke off too easily and constantly needed trimming. If I had thick hair I probably would have left it long.
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