You can see how the Eden Climber went from a pale yellow with pink in the upper right photo to white with pink once it fully opened. The Sunny Knockout starts out yellow and turns white and the White Rambler has pink buds before opening to live up to its name. This got me to thinking about life. Once you grow up and are out of your parents' care you never think you will be any different then you are right then. Ken has been reading the letters he sent to me from Vietnam 48 years ago. He was unable to bring home my letters to him but he often refers to what I wrote to him. I not only do not remember most of the things I wrote about, but I wonder, "Who is that person?!" It is not at all who I am today. Yet, I FEEL like the same person. My tastes have changed, too, but I think I was too easily influenced by the styles of my friends when I was younger. Now, whether it's clothing or furniture, I buy what appeals to me.
So my question to you this month is this: Do you feel like you're the same person now as you were when you were younger? Have your tastes changed dramatically? What in particular is different about you?
I know I've grown cynical--something I'm trying not to be. But the longer one lives the more reason one has to BE cynical. Perhaps it's because I was very naive when I left home at 18. I quickly found if I was to survive in the real world I mustn't be. Now I wish I could regain some of that naivety. I suppose gardening is my way to combat cynicism. I know that once the hot weather sets in bringing with it humidity, then add relentless sun and no rain and my garden seems not worth the effort. Yet......each Spring I tidy my garden, buy more plants to replace the ones that did not survive the harsh weather and hope for the best.
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Take Joy!
Hi Cathy, we have had the wettest spring that I can remember in my 23 years in Texas. Well timed rains, so it seems we have never dried out. Every morning there is heavy dew dripping off the roof. I swear the other morning when I stepped outside, it smelled just like Ohio! And the weeds are bedside themselves with joy! It doesn't take much water for a West Texas weed to grow, so they are abundant. My poor mother goes out and weeds a wheelbarrow full daily. But she says she is happy! Our garden is lush and green but we are still waiting for our first tomato to ripen. And yes the Old Blush roses that generally bloom once in spring and then again in the fall, have bloomed continuously. We have been spared any flooding, just glorious rain.
ReplyDeleteA very interesting look back on our lives. I feel like the same person I was at 18, but I am not. Certainly wiser! But truth be told, I am not that person at all. My core values are the same, stronger now, but I am changed and would probably hardly recognize that person I was. I think I like me better now!! I feel more comfortable and contented. I still have passion about life. I try to live in the moment more. I am happy, no longer searching. I think our internal growth as adults happens the same way our physical growth happened as a child. You don't feel yourself growing and getting taller, but one day you are changed....grown. Internal growth must be the same thing!
Happy Spring, enjoy your garden before the weather gets miserable! Then we can turn to indoor projects!
Take care, Chris
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this, Chris. You stated it perfectly likening it to physical growth that we don't know is happening. And just like physical growth, spiritual and emotional growth often brings growing pains. I am better in some ways, but not in others, for having grown "wiser." I am still waiting to learn contentment! Or at least, patience.
DeleteOh yes, Cathy, I have changed. Not as much as your lovely roses. We used to have a Brass Band rose that changed quite dramatically. Not enough sunshine took our beauty away. Maybe it's the same with us. I try very, very hard not to be a cynical old lady. There is much, as you say, to make us that way. The election year brings out so much hate. I refuse to dwell on it and go about my life. Maybe I'm an ostrich, but I want to live a joy filled life. There is still so much to be joyous about. We really don't have to look very far. Like you say in your "I Come in the Little Things" posts. ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting me know I'm not alone in fighting cynicism, Martha Ellen! I agree that we must focus on what is lovely, but it does make it difficult to stay in the real world and not feel like we're neglecting our responsibilities by escaping! For me, this is always a balancing act that creates stress--not my goal! So I'm still trying to figure out how to remain relevant and involved without having it fuel my cynicism.
DeleteOh yes, I think I'm a very changed person. I don't think many people go from 20 to 60 without changing, and to be honest, I think feel a little sorry for those who do. The biggest thing I've learned? That when I was younger, I didn't know what I didn't know. At 20, I actually thought I had this Life thing knocked. It baffled me at the time - why was Life so much more grim and serious for adults? What was their problem? It's simple really - they're just overthinking things. Life is easy. I'll do A, B and C - and I'll be set. Haha. There can honestly be no more confident creature on earth than the average teen or 20-something human being. Only now do I see, however, how completely clueless I was then. I must have been insufferable. And it must have been pretty funny for my parents, who, to their credit, never tried to flatten my boundless self-assurance. If they had wanted to, they could have shot down a lot of what I was saying or thinking at the time. But they knew that in time, I would learn on my own - and they were so right. I also thought that the world I was so eager to grow up and join would actually be there when I was old enough - and it wasn't. The world of our childhoods is long gone by the time we grow up. And that's probably how it's supposed to be, in large part anyway. Change is constant - it makes the world go round - and we don't appreciate the "wisdom of our elders" until we're basically elders ourselves. As I've been telling my 20-something niece and nephew for years, the first young person who REALLY listens to the adults in his or her life - when he's still young - is going to reap all the rewards of that astute adult experience - and become the next Oprah or Steve Jobs! And of course, both of them usually roll their eyes indulgently at their "wise" old aunt when I do - LOL!
ReplyDeleteSo true! I've seen a change in Olivia's parents and hope to see the change in Alejandro's. Having children does much to grow us up--or just being around children because we can see now how we must have been when we were young.
DeleteYou pose such thought provoking questions! I have been mulling this over since I read it last night. And your roses are so lovely. Today is a dreamy day--temp 57 this morning, humidity low, windows open. A gift of a day. I am more serious than I was at 20 but in many ways I feel the same, though I know I'm not. I often wonder how I did all I did when I was young, just as I marvel at the energy of young friends. I do think we all were a little more mature back then than today's youth. Married at 21 or 22 and went off to live our adult lives, never thinking of help from our parents. And did our parents fuss over us the way we tend to with our kids? Not that I'm aware of, but then I may not have noticed it. I certainly know more and am comfortable, finally, with who I am. While I enjoy following trends, I'm content and yes, love the coziness of my style and the history and stories of the contents of my home. Yes it's hard not to be cynical or even a little angry or want to withdraw a bit ---where we work things are changing so much and geared towards the young who don't have a clue, really, and don't really care how things used to be--that its tempting to want to walk away. But we don't. I know it's important for our well being to stay engaged with all ages and with life as it is today. I've read that more and more boomers are withdrawing into their homes or their senior communities. Not good. That's enough thought for this morning!
ReplyDeleteThey're excellent thoughts, Dotsie, especially your last statement about us Boomers. And it does seem that the 20/30-somethings are taking longer to "settle down". Perhaps we settled down too quickly and they're going too far in the other direction, as things seem to do with each generation (before everything comes back to a good balance). We are much more involved in our kids' lives, but then we live close-by and are available. I think a big part is today there are so many different influences on children too early so parents have to stay involved to make sure our kids are on the right track before we totally cut them lose. It actually started after WWII, but I don't think parents realized yet how much we were being influenced by TV (which wasn't too bad yet) or the music scene (with the availability and promoting of drugs). WE knew, so we've kept a tighter reign on our kids.
DeleteCathy, You can't be that much of a cynic or you wouldn't garden! With the way the world is going, it is easy to become pessimistic and cynical... thank goodness we can retreat into our gardens and see the world at it's best. I've changed much, grown up,. As a younger woman I often thought of myself as a victim of this that or the other... Now, I can't stand the idea of victim-hood, which means I have less patience with those who behave in that way. As I age, I am very much a realist but I know that a person's happiness and joy must be of their own making, despite whatever is going on around us.
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't garden I'd probably sink into cynicism beyond reach! I'm with you on the victim-hood--too easy to fall into it, though, when everyone about you is running around like a chicken with its head cut off! So, positive web journaling, gardening, and grandchildren help a great deal! And, of course, remembering who's really in charge. :-)
DeleteCathy your roses look wonderful, do they all have a good scent too? I am old and wiser and more comfortable with myself. I used to be more care free and hopefully some of that is returning! Sarah x
ReplyDeleteThey do have a scent but it is not very strong. You really have to stick your nose in them to smell them. It would be lovely if they'd perfume the garden, but I've not ever noticed that they have. Yes, often youth is care free and in adulthood the cares are free!
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